A Mother's Heart

This week we had fifth grade Open House, where incoming fifth graders are allowed to tour the school with their families and get a little orientation.  Since I have worked in the building for 9 years, I look forward to seeing parents with siblings of students I have already taught.  One student, A, is dear to my heart.  I had him in sixth grade and he is already 16 years old.  A has autism and an absolutely amazing, amazing, amazing family!  I was excited to see mom and hear how A had been.  He had a very hard few years since leaving our middle school and was not placed properly for that time.  He acted out, got suspended, and generally struggled.  DCFS was actually called on these poor parents.  Luckily, A's current placement is more appropriate and as mom said, " my A is back!"  As I listened to this wonderful mom who loves her son so very much, I started really thinking.  Being a mom has made me a more sensitive teacher, but I think also a more reflective person.  I can not imagine what this family has been through and what that initial "autism" diagnosis must have been like.  Imagine the denial.  The tears.  The heartbreak.  The dreams that won't be.  It got me thinking about parents and their children.  The love that a mom feels is so deep, so intense, so protective, that we ache to see suffering, and my heart ached for this mom and this family.  I couldn't help but think about how blessed I am and how lucky I am and if I am grateful enough for what I have.  I need to stop and enjoy moments rather than rush, because they go so fast.  I also started thinking about my friend, Sara.  She is currently in Ethiopia finally adopting her beautiful twin boys that she has waited so long for and I thought about that instant love you feel for your baby the minute you see them.  It doesn't make one bit of a difference if they are biological or adopted.  Fostered or special needs.  Old or young.  Sick or healthy.  Happy or hurting.  Moms love.  We .love with our whole souls.  There is no point in this but to say I am lucky.  I am blessed.  I miss my own mommy very much and hope that I do her proud.  I hope my girls will grow up one day to love me with the kind of love I have for my own mom.  I hope that I am doing this amazingly important, unbelievably exhausting, and incredibly difficult job "right" whatever that means.  Happy mother's day to all!